I was doing my video blog today and I was talking about my muse when I surprised myself by saying She, instead of He. For as long as I remembered my muse was a male and now, I just...stump. I got jumble on words after that because I didn't know how to take it. I didn't remember when my muse decided she was a female now, and like, when did this happen, how come I never notice, I've been talking to her for the past week to make my novel better with fresh concrete ideas and never even notice that I was talking to a female.
Its just so surprising, that I am so use to talk to my muse and usually never give the notion that she had any sex before I usually just shout MUSE and she come down , but when talking about her it was always a he. Now I just feel wrong calling her a he, because well, hell she had a sex change from the sound of it XD
I just didn't know how to proceed that, I never notice that I start calling her for the past week. I guess it changes. I guess I needed a change. I'm not just writing for the fun of it ( well okay I am BUT) I'm actually working hard to be publish. And I guess when my mindset was stuck on "I'm not a good writer, I wont make it far, I suck" that my muse stick to that notion, but when I changed that she just smiled, felt relive and welcome me to the journey I'm taking, saying she will be with me all the way to bring this story on the stand. Its overwhelming, ever since, a few hours ago, did I notice or more like acknowledged that my muse is a female did I start hearing her more clearly, feeling her better.
I guess I was missing out for a while did I?
Well now its that I actually am award of the change, everything wont be the same anymore, and in a way I hope it wont be the same anymore. Because I'm not aiming the same standard I started and if I still have the same mind set I would never be able to be publish.
It feel great want you acually notice those things. I'm off to go now, I just wanted to say what happend.