There is a lot that happen in the past, week, 2 week ish, but yet I don't bring myself to write anything.
I feel like I should be writing a new story, there is this idea flowing and pitching in my head, but its so vague and odd, that I don't because I don't want to jump in the unknown again. Even if last time it brought me the first draft of Ghost Trackers.
I also bought the hunger game series and, like the title says, the Happiness project.
I decided to go back to college ( well university in this case) and take a major in Psychology. I always like to know human behavior, the power of the mind and how it works the way it does. It was one of my choices I wanted to study long time ago, but something clouded my judgement and I came to do game programming instead.
I feel like I wasted 2 years of studies, time and money, but I learn things. Maybe not from the course but of myself. I learn what I like to do, and what I would love to do.
I am not alone on that track. Elise did the same thing, except she still like to draw, but now for only herself. She love what she is doing now, as a freelancer.
I applied for a few more jobs, had an interview but I feel like it wasn't made to be, it wasn't what I though it was so, now I'm not sure I want it. I'm starting to feel like Staples is, not as fun anymore, now that I am force to ask for more hours and drag myself to find a new job because of it. I use to like it, how come it can't be like it was before?
Anyway back to the "back to school " thing. I want to go to the University at PEI, another reason why me and Scott should be moving there. We both love it, and really, really want to live there. We have a lot of connection in the gaming industry there so Scott having a job there will be easy and fun.
I will be a part time student like that I can take my time to understand everything and focus on my studies and what I really want to be for the rest of my life. I am going to take a minor in writing also, there is a few classes for creative writing that looks fun so I may take that to balance the hard and heavy studies.
Every one is supporting my decision, and I'm very happy and excited, except that it made me stop my revision again. Well its more my damn feeling of writing something new in me that make me stop my revision. I will be back to it. I'm still advancing well actually, I am surprise on how much I learn in the few first lesson, that I cant wait to apply everything I learn to create something new and more interesting.
Ho yeah, I want to my first reunion for the toastmasters, and I can say that I like it. I'm going back next week, with a speech of my own. Well it would be a ice breaker for other toastmasters to know me. Anyway I did a prump first speech thing as an exercise in front and, yes I was nervous, but I did it voluntarily, and like it.
What else did happen, ho yes, me and Scott want to Fredericton last week-end to visit my best friend! I had fun, that's when I bough my books. Scott got one game on his tablet, and some magic cards.
Ho yeah, I didn't say what happen to my laptop.
Well, a few days ago Scott was grabbing my laptop to do his homework in bed when:
Scott: "Ho this is bad, really bad"
me: "what?"
Scott: "Laptop broke-"
me: "its old no biggy-"
Scott: " - and the piece still in the outlet..."
me:"...Hooo this is bad, really baad"
and then the adventure to take out the piece to metal out of the outlet with out getting, you know, electrocuted. I still find it funny on how its the power cord that broke not the laptop, that thing is going to melt anytime soon, but still holding.
But we both decided, instead of buying a new power cord (80$ for a good one) we invested in a Android tablet. So when the really awesome and got Galaxy one came on sale at Staples, we jump on the offer and got the last one XD
...
100 report. wow, men I remember when I first wrote Report 50, how amazed I was and still am. that's like... a 100 days in my life where I dedicated some of my time to report what is happening to me in my life. And you can see how I mature and got better in my writing too!
But thing never change though. I still like kingdom heart, still a fan of it but less then I was 3 years ago. I did got a weird dream about it few nights ago. Still confuse the hell out of me, it been so long that I didn't see or think of wearing my organization coat, then I had this weird dream that I was a member and it was just... so real. I couldn't feel anything, it was so empty inside of me, I was just, doing what I was ask to do, searching in the millions and millions of green bins, for the toy form of my other coworkers, without a break, or a care in the world. Only doing my duty like I am supposed to do.
Just thinking of it, I can feel the hallow inside. It's scary.
...
/shivers
Anyway, what I was getting at, is that all the fandom I was in 3 years ago shape me to be who I am, there will always be a piece of it in my life, that I will know or never notice at all, but in a way I'm happy to know that. Because I grew to love those characters ,games and what ever I was into that time. They/ it made me, slowly realize what I want to do, and create some paths in my life, I will never forget that.
Even if I do forget, the feeling of it will still be there in me to remember.
Steph~
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