Monday, January 30, 2012

Report 102

I want to Staples today to send a fax and I was like  :

"You know what, the back to school crap is 75% off, I gonna grab some stuff for Uni like that I be ready."

So I did. For 15 Buck in total I got:

- 10 clear front report covers (5 green, 5 light blue)
- 5 pack of quad squares pads. ( need for a book project actually not really for Uni.)
- 2 really awesome notebook. witch owls and twitter birds on it XD
- 2 pack of Christmas card ( other project for this year Christmas. It glitters :D)
- a Monster high pencil case.
- a pack of green ink pen (12)
- a little pouch to hold my extra change, cause the change is breaking my wallet. ( and I need a new wallet anyway.)

and my fax.

I didn't get pain line paper, because 1. they didn't sell in in Clarence, 2. I have a lot already here XD

I could get more really, but what I really wanted was already out. I could have grab the 50% off voice recorder, but I didn't want too, plus there was bad reviews on it. I like to pay a lot for an electronic and know it will work, then pay 50% off and it will only work half the time. NO. I need that for my classes.

What I want to do is record the lectures and transcript them after. I can't listen and write in the same time, I get confuse and will miss have the lecture, I prefer to listen and write later. I am only a part time student so I wont have as much work as the others so I can take the time to do it, and in the same time doing it that way I will remember it the most.

I probably will be a full time after a while, but I'm still unsure on how things work, the infokit does not really explain how courses works at the university ( they need a booklet or something that explain the difference of full time and part time, witch one benefit the most in certain classes, and when your a first year, what is the classes you should take for certain courses, if there is labs or coop classes etc...)

Anyway that was what I wanted to say :D My awesome shopping time, and it was all under my limit of spending too :D

Take care


Friday, January 27, 2012

Report 101, collection

I'm reading in the Happiness project the part where she is trying to find a collection of some kind, in the book she post a few reply of people collections that she had on her blog, and it made me think, what is mt collection?

Easy answer, My rocks. Ever since I was a kid ( still do now) when ever we would travel or have a vacation somewhere, I would look down and find the perfect rock that display my memory or emotion of the place we where visiting and I would pick it up, clean it with my hands, and place it in my pocket. I have  a box full of it, some are soft, some are huge , some are colorful and more. And time to time, I would sit on my bed, the box open in front of me and I would pick one rock at a time, feeling the ruffness and the shape on my figure and remember exactly why I pick that one up, where it was and when.

They are more then just collection for me, they are keeping a piece of good memory. Happy memory. I love to find different and odd rocks. My family would give discard rocks to me because they know I would be interest in them. I don't collect the rare ones much. I do have some quartz or peridot in a bottle, but just for the color or the cool feeling of it.

I remember so many time where My mother would trow the box outside because it was just junk in her mind and it would piss her off, because it was just... there ( middle of the room most of the time, you had to stride over it  ) but every time, I would take a new box and pick them up again, and again. She stop throw it now, because I told her how important the rocks are to me. I showed her how the rocks work, I pick one up and told her exactly what happen when I got that one, where we were, when and what. She was so surprise that she would just, move the box to a more... safety place instead of throwing it out.

Now, in the present, its in a corner in my room, between the wardrobe door and a wall, got a another ( bigger) box and place my rocks I pick up from my college life. I still have to find a good one to remember this year, usually the perfect rock pops in front of me in the spring. This year, it will be my last year living in this apartment after 4 years living in it. I have very fond memories that I don't want to forget, so the best way for me to remember, find the perfect rock, and let my memory flow in it to for ever remember.

Wednesday, January 25, 2012

Report 100 Happiness project

There is a lot that happen in the past, week, 2 week ish, but yet I don't bring myself to write anything.

I feel like I should be writing a new story, there is this idea flowing and pitching in my head, but its so vague and odd, that I don't because I don't want to jump in the unknown again. Even if last time it brought me the first draft of Ghost Trackers.

I also bought the hunger game series and, like the title says, the Happiness project.

I decided to go back to college ( well university in this case) and take a major in Psychology. I always like to know human behavior, the power of the mind and how it works the way it does. It was one of my choices I wanted to study long time ago, but something clouded my judgement and I came to do game programming instead.

I feel like I wasted 2 years of studies, time and money, but I learn things. Maybe not from the course but of myself. I learn what I like to do, and what I would love to do.

I am not alone on that track. Elise did the same thing, except she still like to draw, but now for only herself. She love what she is doing now, as a freelancer.

I applied for a few more jobs, had an interview but I feel like it wasn't made to be, it wasn't what I though it was so, now I'm not sure I want it. I'm starting to feel like Staples is, not as fun anymore, now that I am force to ask for more hours and drag myself to find a new job because of it. I use to like it, how come it can't be like it was before?

Anyway back to the "back to school " thing. I want to go to the University at PEI, another reason why me and Scott should be moving there. We both love it, and really, really want to live there. We have a lot of connection in the gaming industry there so Scott having a job there will be easy and fun.

I will be a part time student like that I can take my time to understand everything and focus on my studies and what I really want to be for the rest of my life. I am going to take a minor in writing also, there is a few classes for creative writing that looks fun so I may take that to balance the hard and heavy studies.

Every one is supporting my decision, and I'm very happy and excited, except that it made me stop my revision again. Well its more my damn feeling of writing something new in me that make me stop my revision. I will be back to it. I'm still advancing well actually, I am surprise on how much I learn in the few first lesson, that I cant wait to apply everything I learn to create something new and more interesting.

Ho yeah, I want to my first reunion for the toastmasters, and I can say that I like it. I'm going back next week, with a speech of my own. Well it would be a ice breaker for other toastmasters to know me. Anyway I did a prump first speech thing as an exercise in front and, yes I was nervous, but I did it voluntarily, and like it.

What else did happen, ho yes, me and Scott want to Fredericton last week-end to visit my best friend! I had fun, that's when I bough my books. Scott got one game on his tablet, and some magic cards.

Ho yeah, I didn't say what happen to my laptop.

Well, a few days ago Scott was grabbing my laptop to do his homework in bed when:

Scott: "Ho this is bad, really bad"
me: "what?"
Scott: "Laptop broke-"
me: "its old no biggy-"
Scott: " - and the piece still in the outlet..."
me:"...Hooo this is bad, really baad"

and then the adventure to take out the piece to metal out of the outlet with out getting, you know, electrocuted. I still find it funny on how its the power cord that broke not the laptop, that thing is going to melt anytime soon, but still holding.

But we both decided, instead of buying a new power cord (80$ for a good one) we invested in a Android tablet. So when the really awesome and got Galaxy one came on sale at Staples, we jump on the offer and got the last one XD


100 report. wow, men I remember when I first wrote Report 50, how amazed I was and still am. that's like... a 100 days in my life where I dedicated some of my time to report what is happening to me in my life. And you can see how I mature and got better in my writing too!

But thing never change though. I still like kingdom heart, still a fan of it but less then I was 3 years ago. I did got a weird dream about it few nights ago. Still confuse the hell out of me, it been so long that I didn't see or think of wearing my organization coat, then I had this weird dream that I was a member and it was just... so real. I couldn't feel anything, it was so empty inside of me, I was just, doing what I was ask to do, searching in the millions and millions of green bins, for the toy form of my other coworkers, without a break, or a care in the world. Only doing my duty like I am supposed to do.

Just thinking of it, I can feel the hallow inside. It's scary.



Anyway, what I was getting at, is that all the fandom I was in 3 years ago shape me to be who I am, there will always be a piece of it in my life, that I will know or never notice at all, but in a way I'm happy to know that. Because I grew to love those characters ,games and what ever I was into that time. They/ it made me, slowly realize what I want to do, and create some paths in my life, I will never forget that.

Even if I do forget, the feeling of it will still be there in me to remember.


Wednesday, January 18, 2012

Thursday, January 12, 2012

Report 99 Muse

I was doing my video blog today and I was talking about my muse when I surprised myself by saying She, instead of He. For as long as I remembered my muse was a male and now, I just...stump. I got jumble on words after that because I didn't know how to take it. I didn't remember when my  muse decided she was a female now, and like, when did this happen, how come I never notice, I've been talking to her for the past week to make my novel better with fresh concrete ideas and never even notice that I was talking to a female.

Its just so surprising, that I am so use to talk to my muse and usually never give the notion that she had any sex before I usually just shout MUSE and she come down , but when talking about her it was always a he. Now I just feel wrong calling her a he, because well, hell she had a sex change from the sound of it XD

I just didn't know how to proceed that, I never notice that I start calling her for the past week. I guess it changes. I guess I needed a change. I'm not just writing for the fun of it ( well okay I am BUT) I'm actually working hard to be publish. And I guess when my mindset was stuck on "I'm not a good writer, I wont make it far, I suck" that my muse stick to that notion, but when I changed that she just smiled, felt relive and welcome me to the journey I'm taking, saying she will be with me all the way to bring this story on the stand. Its overwhelming, ever since, a few hours ago, did I notice or more like acknowledged that my muse is a female did I start hearing her more clearly, feeling her better.

I guess I was missing out for a while did I?

Well now its that I actually am award of the change, everything wont be the same anymore, and in a way I hope it wont be the same anymore. Because I'm not aiming the same standard I started and if I still have the same mind set I would never be able to be publish.

It feel great want you acually notice those things. I'm off to go now, I just wanted to say what happend.

Take care


Wednesday, January 11, 2012

Report 98 realization week

 I was talking to a costumer today and it made me realize something. I never say happy new years during the beginning of January or a new year, because in me its not a new year but just the end of a great break and holiday. New year for me is in September, when school start. We've been in schooling for 13-16 years of my life, I got use to it as when school start it was a new year, with new friend, teachers, materials, bullies, Everything.

I learn, subconsciousness that a new year is when you start a new grade, because everything will be different then the last time I was there. So , really what I'm getting at, it will take me a long time until I get out of my mind set that September is a new Year, because now I don't go to college, Scott is in his last year so soon, I will have to get use to celebrate new years, when I change or get a new resolution, taxes coming, winter is raging and all the Jazz.

ON other news, I'm back to revising my novel in a tight scheduler. I was able to catch up fast, I'm on lesson 5 and doing great. I learn that, I rewrote the novel with the wrong or bad changes in mind. I basically rewrote the novel for nothing ( for better explication see: StephTalk - day 10 ) and or shouldn't need to rewrite it in the first place. But in a way its okay, since the first first draft I wrote it as a stress relive in my last term of college so a lot was just... nothing, but the core idea was still great and still make me say: I want to write this story, I want people to read and enjoy this story.

SO I am finish up this revision anyway, but with my good intention of the first first draft in mind. Like I said in day 10 video blog, I bought some clear top duo tangs and place the hand written first draft in there, in 4 part of the story arc. There was more arc, but basically me dividing them as: good, bad, okay, better  parts XD

Its the first week of back to college for scott, everyone ( teacher included) are making sure he doesn't do anything stupid because he still have some fatigue in the middle of the day. To much going on and his heart have a hard time taking it, but he know and is taking thing very lightly.

For one of his class, they join up and decided to make one bigass group to make a project, and he was appointed as the lead 3D artist. Which is great, and not in the same time. Great because it mean he be focus mostly on paper work, making sure his group does their job and answer if they have question. Bad is that he wont be able to make any modles. Good again because he wont have the stress of  being in time to hand in things, but bad because he will be stress if someone doesn't do their job. Its a love hate relationship.

We have an apointment on the 30 to go see the doctor to see if he still have to take the medicine. He say it feels more like he broke some ribs then anything and that he have more pain when he sneeze.

I also ( randomly changing the subject), received a call form the student loan people, they are have been working on my file and said that I just need my pay slip of this month as a proof that I don't make a lot, and its a good coincidence, because now that the holiday rush is over my hours as been cut IMMENSELY. I am down to less then 10 hours. I wont be able to live on that much, so I have to say good bye to my idea of birthday gift for Scott because I will have to save every penny I have to be able to survive a bit. When I be moving I may get a better position for now at the store, and I be much further on my novel, so I have calculated by the end of this year I will have my book soon to be ready, I think in year 2013 it will be ready to be send out to publication so I really can't wait and am working very hard on that. If I can get some money on the side with that it would be super great.

I also finish watching well catching up on the series Bones, and now notice that netflix have charmed, so I'm watching at least one episode a day, so when I'm having lunch or super.

Now except of that nothing new, except of revising my novel really, and the lack of hours. ( I ask for more, but she said that I couldnt because she couldn`t find more hours then they can give. SOmehting under that line, I`m tired.)

Take care,


Wednesday, January 4, 2012

Report 97 A-Z blogfest challenge

Things are going back to normal here. I'm doing okay with my daily video blog, even if I feel awkward all the time because I really don't have anything to say to the camera but it will pass when things get more interesting when we be moving down to where ever.

I also decided to participate to the A-Z blog challenge in April, I still have to register but it only start at the end of this month so I'm fine. I've been interest to do some blogfest for a while but never knew how the hell they work, and the A-Z challenge sounds fun and interesting. Yeah it would mean I have to write a report daily AND keep up my daily video blog.


Scott thinks I wont be able to keep up my daily video blog. Its too early to know yet, or to have a habit of filming, but I want to proof to him I can keep this one up. I tried long time ago, when this blog was still on the name of Zenxara, to have a writing daily project, being for 20 minute, to just write my newest dreams, things that came to mind  but didn't make sense. It last for two weeks, but then I want down to visit my family one week-end and it was broken. I forgot to do it for the whole week end. Well I know I didn't forget, I was afraid to go and do it in front of my parents or family because they would have ask what I was doing then and just bring my confidence I build carefully all down in the drain.

I didn't want that, I still don't but now I'm not afraid, I have like three novel I finish writing, and two-three short stories, I can write. Not well, but I still can, I think I have great stories to tell and someday, in a year or two I will be publishing it.

I start to bring my novel work to, well work. I brought work to work XD During my lunch break I can do a few page in 30 minute. I work on more page yesterday in 30 minute that I manage in a full day off last Monday.

Scott is doing better, he tried to stop taking the medicine, since it been 2 weeks now, but last night his hear did a small jump feeling and it hurt, so he took some. But I guess he just have to take less medicine now, gradually go down until he is healthy again. He is fine that's for sure, he bought a new game the 007 glodeneye one with a gun for his PS3 and trust me, he was fine acting like a happy puppy, it was cute.

Yesterday was our movie date, we went to go see Sherlock Holmes:Game of shadows. It was interesting, I still dont like RD junior to be as Sherlock, ever since I saw Benedict as Sherlock I can't unsee, he is the perfect Sherlock, RD is Tony. I kept seeing Tony Stark in the movie.

Scott didn't like it by the way it ended, I was fine, since thats how the book finished. I also, two day ago I donated some of my books I had to the local library, and I meet the librarian at my work, she was on her way to the library then and didn't know about the bag, but she was very happy and glad about my donation. It made me happy to know I did something good. Its like I donate most of my discard clothing that doesn't fit or didn't like or never wore. There is a shop down town that accept clothing so I went there and donated two to three huge bags, just seeing there face was priceless. I'm happy, just thinking of it, that I did a good thing. I never though of it that way before, before I just wanted to get ride of it because it was taking some spaces, but now its different. Those clothing are given to people and children who can't afford it.

Those books, I give it to this particular library because they didn't have much, plus they use most of their budget to fix the roof. I had great books, some that I didn't even read that they could use more then me. I had one, I could have sold it for 40 bucks if I wanted, there was the skeleton creek series ( minus the last one.) brand new, with plastic cover.

All in great condition, one sign by the author. Not  a lot of people think of donating there books to their local library, maybe sell them for a quarter at a yard sell, having a small profit yeah, but not giving them for free to a place no one barely goes to.

When I told my boyfriend my plan, he asked me if the library accepted donation, I just look at him, with a are-you-kidding look. Everybody love free stuff, even books.