Report 84

Something amazing happen to me last night, and I couldn't wait to tell it. I still cant wrap my mind into it, half my brain said I saw it, the other say I was dreaming, but I knew I wasn't since I woke up from a nightmare when it happened.

I guess I will start from the begining yeah?

For two nights, Scott was away to Montreal for his class trip and I've been having a hard time sleeping, because, well I get scared when I'm alone, and night with the silence and the darkness, doesn't help my fear. Last night, I had a weird dream, that could have been consider as a nightmare. I was backing away in a coridore, pushing down plates, knifes ( no idea why there was a block with knifes on a cabinet in a hallway but it was there) in front of me, trying to slow down they woman coming at me, angrily. And thinking of it now, she look a whole lot like me, but she was a psychopate, who wanted to eat me alive really so I was scared shitless, trying to get away but the house was block down and the only door to escape, she was blocking it.

I was scared, and I knew, my sucontion knew that I was dreaming so it was forcing myself to wake up but, the dream kept pulling me back, I saw a few version I got up on the table, trying to pring down the chandalair on the demon lady, fuzzy seeing my covers, and the next scene, she was looking up at me in surprise, her corner of her lips was bleeding and I could tast blood in my mouth. Then it was dark I saw a light, that I knew was the moon light. I was waking up but not completely. The last scene I saw before fully waking up was her, screaming, her mouth wide open, like if she crack her jaw down, full of blood, her eyes on fire, demon really.

I woke up, heart beating fast cause hell it was scary as shit and really realistic but I was staring straight at Pixie. From how you know as be dead for two months now, because she was sofering, but she was looking at me, her head tilt like asking whatsup, you okay, can I get pet now?

I didn't blink, I wasn't sure what I was looking it, I knew it was Pixie, but it look like a glass, moving glass form of my cat. I heard a purr, but it was covered by a stupid car screatching its tire in front. I got more scared, still having the image of the screaming demon lady in my head and looking at a glass form of my decead cat I look away.

But Kitty cat had another idea, I saw her move on my arm and look down at me. I did blink then, and she was still there. I didn't know what to do, I tried to lift my arm but I couldn't it was so heavy,so I want on auto pilot, when Pixie was still alive she would do that to me in the middle of night to get attation a bit or just to make me move to get a place on the pillow, so I nod to her to move up over my head to get my pillow, and I saw her move over my face, and get on my pillow.

I was still regestrating what the hell I was seeing, I move to look up on my pillow, and there was nothing. I look around and it was just empty, no more car tire scratching and anything. I look at the time: 5 in the morning. So I cuddle scott pillow, close my eyes and said to myself.

The fuck?

Report 83, NaNoWriMo

Last year, I start something that change me for the rest of my days. I start NaNoWriMo. National Novel Writing Month. This year is no different, with no project, homework and people expecting me to do my best on my school work, I can finally focus on what I like to do. Write.

Last year, I wrote a fantasy novel, the idea was in my head ( as a fanfic of some sort) since the summer 2009, I wrote it in a black, wireless bind, notebook. In summer 2010, I decided I would participate in this crazy event and brain storm for an idea for what to write, completely forgot about the idea I wrote in the black notebook a year ago. I came up with this ghost story, but I was in the middle of work so I couldn't write it down much. Coming home I rush to my room and took the first notebook in my head to write to idea down, to brain storm it. But the book was full, I was shock, I didn't remember completing any notebook before, so I open it in the first page and read it all. I had more then 10 story flush out in there, but one caught my mind and I couldn't take it out.

The Magician Servant came to be in November 2010.

I never forgot the ghost story since that day, but it change so much during that time. I didn't understand what my muse was telling me I couldn't see properly what he was showing me. He got mad and stop all together. I tried to write a story I though I liked, but failed. There was something that stop me from getting into writing that story, full of heroes, mysteries and action.

When I was stuck, again, frustrate that I could go past more then 300 word a day, my best friend give me new pens and textured paper. The pen, was new to me and I wanted to test it, I pop the green ink in it and stare at it in front of a blank white paper.

what to write?

And it came to me like a wave, scene after scene, ghost, tacky uniforms, romance, mysteries, powers, everything was there, in a corner of my mind, tuck away carefully waiting for the day I would discover it, the day I would appreciated it without even thinking about making sense of it and just write it like it was telling me.

I wrote the whole story, in 3 months, I hand wrote it on a sketchbook, I was able to finish it with around 50K also. And now, satisfied and love the story that I was telling, November 2011 is here and its now time to tell it again, the real way, what really happen for NaNoWriMo 2011.

For everyone doing NaNoWriMo this year good luck! :D I take a sip of my cold tea for you all to wish you a great month of none stop writing!

take care

Steph~

Report 82 Discoveries~

I've been living for 3 years in Miramichi now, and I still descover new stuff. Like a few days ago, I finally learn that we do have a bookstore! (named Books-inn) I tried to check it out yesterday after my visit with the library, but what google map showed me was just the location of a berger joint, then it started to rain and I didn't want to ruin the book ( plus the NaNoWriMo flyers) so I just leave it for now.

I know where it is now, I ask on facebook and the people that lived here longer told me where it really is located. I probably will go again today ( have to print more flyers of NaNo) since last night I got another call from the library saying I got a book that I ordered. Couldn't they check in the morning? I was just there, it is a 15 min drive. 9 I saw a black bear cross the road on my way there yesterday morning also.)

And yes, NaNoWriMo will start soon, I post flyers at the library and all around the college, I am ready! I have a new coffee mug for my tea, laptop clean up with motivation/ inspiration background, three usb on me at all time in case XD

Also I notice I'm starting to be a magazine freak, I always check the magazine before I pay things at shops, in case I can find the Glamour British version ( really hard to get here, but the best fashion magazine.EVER) But then I want to buy EVERYTHING! There was a magazine about Archeology! and and a bunch of studies about the human brain and all that. ( got one about how the mind works with motivation, very interesting... But I mostly took it for the Ancient temples articles.)

I must have made the cashier think or something because here I was buying a fashion magazine, a ideas & Discoveries talking about motivation, Ancient temples and galaxies...and a coffee mug. I looked like a smart girl that would travel a lot ( hence the coffee mug) that looks good. I sound like a self centered bitch, but I'm not. I had really bad low self estime in my teens ( the bulling didn't help), I always like fashion but when ever I would pick up a fashion magazine or a piece of cloathing I could hear the snickers in my ear or actually see some of my classmate laugh at me.So I really never bothered. But after a bad Axiaty attack, I change my mind track, I change on how I think of myself, and I never second guess what I like anymore. If I want to buy that dress because it would make me look good, and feel good about myself, then dammit I will buy it!

It actually help, I didn't have any panic attacks for 2 months now, I have a kind and handsome boyfriend that I though would never have me because he look like out of my league.(Thank you Nintendo!) I wrote three (horrible) novels, but hey I did it, because I stop thinking about what they would say and start listening to myself.

There is things to discover everyday, that it is about a friend, the place you live, or even about yourself you didn't know you would like, and that's how I see everyday of my life, a new things to learn, something new to discover. My co worker find it amazing on how I'm surprise or amaze by just small little things, I like it that way, because now it doesn't take much to make my day.

Take care

Steph~