Report 138 - Midway in 2014

We are already in June! WOOHOO

For this report, I will analyze my progress in 2014 goals.  I told myself that this year I would be more productive, that I would follow the path I made.  And boy did I have a lot to tell you.

On the mark of four months, I finished more then I ever had in two years I'm pretty sure.

Here is what I had wrote for my Big Fun Scary List of 2014 and what I was able to accomplish so far.

1. Once a week,post half a chapter of Not a Super Villain

• I actually finished posting Part one of the story AND revised part 2 AND am going to self-publish it in two  weeks.  I want above and beyond what I had plan, and though I was only  be able to finish.

1. plan,outline and write
• That…didn't go as well as I hoped.  Mostly because I focused more on Not a SUper Villain then anything, but also I keep moving from one idea to another.  I did plan and outline half an arc story. Start writing Winter Frost, but I didn't like how it was going so I stopped.
2. 333 project ( winter)
• This went better then I hoped. I cleaned my cloths that didn't fit me or things I wasn't going to were anymore.  I cleaned maybe two bags worth of stuff.   I did winter cloths and summer cloths.  I think I still have to go through some of the article of clothing I have again.
3. clean out the clutter in my office
• four to five bags after, It is actually done.  It is one of the best achievement I ever did.
4. paint
• I paint once and a while, when the mood strikes.
5. eat better
• Better then before, but still could do better
6. do the tools everyday
• I didn't even touch this. I should, but I don't think I will, mostly because I don't remember, and ignore my reminders.
7. Evening routing
• was consists of preparing my lunch for the next day, but so far, I ain't gonna do it.
8. Morning routine
• I was good, following what I wanted for four months, and then I stopped for no reason?  I want to continue however.  It consists of meditation and getting ready and stuff.  I want to do meditation more often again.
9. participate and donate to NaNoWriMo 2014
• Unsure if I want to work on Poison Seed story, or Not a Hero story.  But at least I still have a couple of more months.
10. read less fan fiction and more book that I actually own.
• HAHAHAHAHA
11. Learn ASL?
• I bought a book for learning as a started, but I didn't really study it since I want to focus on my Wizardry right now.
12. Less Tumblr
• surprisingly, I am doing good on this goal.  I cleaned the blogs I was following to only the few that I actually care and enjoy their company.  and limiting my time on it to focus more on my writing, and now my online classes.
13. Finish college in Honours
• Most of my grades were above 85 (maybe three were in the 85+, most of the others were in the 90's and over.) so I am not worried about that now.  I am graduating in two weeks, which is scary.
14. get a job
• I accepted a temporary job were I am doing my training right now, so at least I have that.  It isn't permanent, but at least it will keep me afloat until I find something else.
15. use the library to get books instead of buying them.
• I am doing extremely good on this.  I just finished reading books that was on my to-read list.  Now I have some only classes I need to focus on so my reading changed from fiction to Mythology and Divination.  It's actually topics that I enjoy and read on my own time anyway so I am doing well.

so yes, out of 6/15, that is more then I ever thought I would accomplish.  And yes, some I didn't work on, but others I went above and beyond working on them.  Others,  I am doing the best that I can and that is all that I need.  THe best that I can.

I am now working on some online classes like I mention before, so new goals will come and other will have to go for another year.

However, compare to my other years in goals, this is the most I ever accomplished.  I knew that I was going to try harder to follow my goals this year, but I didn't actually see progress until I sat down and looked at my list again.  Only when I was starting to cross off things of the list that I noticed, hey, I am amazing, I am further in my goals that I ever been in half my life.  This is amazing.

I am proud of myself on the journey I have taken, and what is coming along my path.  I have come a hell of a long way, and now I am less afraid of the journey ahead of me.  There is more to learn, and I will be ready.

Blessed be

Steph~

Report 135: New Years! And 2012-2013 goals reflection!

There is this theory, in NaNoLand, that the more busy you are the more achievement you make. In 2012 I had a few writing goals, and I can say I achieve a lot of them. THough I am ashamed of myself since I only work on the one that is consider easy. I work hard on my revision, that is true. But I could do a lot more. I could work a lot more on it. Ever since I started University I have been very busy, and the writing kind off took a stop.

This year, I am still not sure or have a good...idea structure I guess. I have three class this semester and they are taking most of my time. But I want to edit and post some of my stories I wrote for NaNoWriMo 2012, and to go back on my novel revision. I will have to reread basically everything to go back to the stage I left, but it be fine. I actually had a dream that make a better ending then the one I originally had. And I probably will try to make a few more scenes. Since I know that my Ghost story is about Daniel discovering he is Half ghost in the private institute for Ghost Trackers. However, I don't really know how to proceed with the school part of it. Or even how to make the evil bad guy a bad guy. ( except you know the part where Gregory( bad guy) is actually sucking the souls of everyone.)

It still could do a lot more work for me to be able to write it properly since I kind off just jump in it with out a good grasp of the back story. And the back story is actually important. Some what. To make sense of everything else anyway. There is also the problem of, because I am taking so much long brakes between revision I have a more longer time to brainstorm and change my mind. Which both sucks, and amaze me. Since I came up with much better idea everything, but sucks since it basically change the whole story all over again. I'm sticking with the original story I wrote in pen fro the first time. Since it is the story I originate and liked, and using my other brilliant idea for sequel of some sort. Because hell if Ghost exist in these world, there is bound to be more magical creature in existence am I right? Right.

In other note, my boyfriend is going to apply for the work force ( as a cook) and we are thinking of moving again, meaning that my studies will be either on hold or transferred again. Its just...complicated. I wanted, when I apply to UPEI, to get a degree in English like that I be a better writer. I took some Psychology classes and I just had the misfortune to tell my family that I really enjoy Psychology and now, well, everyone is on my back about time, and deciding what I really really want to do with my life and about money,loan and a bunch of crap. MY main goal when I apply was to get better in English. Yes I enjoy Psychology immensely, but it is not for me. One, I can't even read about the nano transmitter and drugs effect with out having a small panic attack, less studying it for the rest of my life. I don't think they understand the concept of emetophobia.

But anyway, my point is, if we do move back in New Brunswick, I don't know if I should continue my study in English language, or go to the workforce and work on my novel. Since I did get better in english amazingly, but I still have a lot of work to do. A Lot.

OMG did you know that my Microsoft word document always automatically change my 'a lot' to 'alot'! It drives me crazy!

Anyway, (/cough cough) I still have time to brainstorm. I will talk about it with scott and see his opinion.

Except for that, my holiday was good! We surprised my mother from coming home earlier then planned ( much earlier) it was fun, made her day. I had a lot of great gift! Teen wolf season 1 in the shelf and a giant owl pillow :D I also received a lot of books and a gift certificate for Chapters ( that I used the next day for Cecelia Ahern recent books I was missing YES). I hope everyone had a great Holiday and New Year! I will be changing my goals page soon and also talk about my classes! My English Linguistic teach is AMAZING! People probably think she is on the side of crazy but I love her, oh my god.

Take care!

Steph :D

Report 130: Vision Board, or BIG FUN SCARY LIST!

Report 130: Vision Board, or BIG FUN SCARY LIST!

The difference between a Vision Board and A Big, Fun, Scary list. 

IN 2010 I made this Big Fun Scary List of stuff I want to buy/own in 3-5 years to come. I had it post it on my blog, but I wrote everything down in that year notebook. A few months ago, I delete that list from my blog and it dawn on me of why I deleted. I finish it. Well the list grew and changed within the year but it still had the same items from when I started. This is what I started with:

• 2 22” screen for computer
• Macbook pro
• iPad
• android phone
• L shape, red wine color desk
• Matching living room set
• Normal decoration on the walls like pictures and stuff
• New speakers for desktop computer
• Flat screen TV
• New bed set
• Wii fit
• Camcorder. 

I got a new screen for my computer but only one, since I’m not a programmer now I give the second one to Scott who needs it more than me. I bought a android tablet for Scott birthday, we both use it. I got my awesome android slide keypad phone this summer. I got a L shape desk for my birthday last year from Scott. I got a new bed set from mom in Christmas 2011. I have now a matching living room set (lazy boy set from Scott’s parents)

I have a bunch of decorations that I bough, received, and got as gift. I have yet to place them up.

Scott has a flat screen TV so that one was scratch after we moved in together in 2011. I got WiiFit in 2010 Christmas, and got a camcorder Christmas 2011.

I’m saving for my macbook for this year. There is a bunch of special for students so I am planning to buy it for my education.

The only thing that wasn’t scratch of is the speakers for the desktop. But I don’t think I will ever scratch it off, because I am satisfied with the crappy one I have. It was a gift from my best friend when she got her new ones. And It does its job like I want so I don’t really mind. I like really. And I will be more on my macbook when I get it then my desktop after, so it doesn’t really matter.

When I get my macbook, I’m transforming my old laptop to be hook up on the flat screen TV like that we can watch TV shows online. Basically the only thing that be on the red laptop be a antivirus and internet. Nothing else needed.

I placed a lot of place to visit and vacation with Scott on the list. But I’m not much of a traveler, so it will be in much longer future, especially since I will be back to University. I didn’t plan those 2 years ago. But there is one, that always migrate in all the vision board I made of the stuff I want and it was a picture of Prince Edward Island red beach and I mark in a silver marker, “Live in PEI” I mark that in 2010, October 2010.  I never though about it, like it would be a possibility I just really really liked PEI. And yet, here I am! 2 years after! The same picture still in my vision board now attach on the wall in my apartment, in Charlottetown PEI.

Now my vision board is more of things that tells me I am beautiful, that make me happy thinking of the future. My macbook, that I can do it, that I will have the creative writing course in UPEI. Future wedding.

I have a vision board since high school, because in art class we watch “The secret” and it was part of our assignment. But I never truly understood what the vision board actually meant to do.  In 2010 I bought a new board because the original one was filled up with things that inspired me, remembered post it, letters, flowers, necklace and all kind of crap. The original vision board took a hike after I had my grade on it because in high school I didn’t know what I wanted. I just took some picture and plaster it on the board on what I thought I should do; like you know wedding, the men of my dream and lots of money. It wasn’t what I truly wanted.

So I bought a new one in October when I fill up with my BIG FUN SCARY List of stuff I want. When I was done and looking at it, I got curious and start reading the Secret again because, in that moment after looking at my master piece of crap I want. I dawn on me that, this was it. Thats how a vision board must look like. It was full pack of stuff I want in the future, it didn’t need to be big at all like the men of dream or awesome job and lots of money; it just had to be small things I wanted. Like a new bed sets, and speakers.

I read “the secret” again, and watch the movie. I had the urge to modify my vision board after to add like, my dream house and stuff but I didn’t because THAT board, was the BIG FUN SCARY LIST board, not a vision board. SO I didn’t touch it. The only time I did was to take out things and place new items.

In the end, the vision board works in different ways for everyone.  For some, it’s a collage on a huge poster with their own pictures they took, and craft. Others, is photoshoping pictures found in Google or took themselves and place them as their background on their computer. For me it’s my BIG FUN SCARY LIST of stuff and crap I want.

The vision board and the BFSL are seen different in my eyes, because of the way it was described and showed to me.

The way I see vision boards is people that already had a taste of real life on their hands, so they want a better job, a better house, vacations and just better things. I didn’t have a taste of real life yet when I started the vision board. I have now, like a year of experience as a graduate, I can see the appeal of wanting all those better things.

But I don’t want to. I love where I live. I love my job. I love my boyfriend. I love the free time I have to just lazing around the house and watch movies after movies, or staying up late engross in a awesome book, and showing my boyfriend away because Its INTENCE and I NEED to finish it.

I don’t want a better house, I don’t want better car. I have what I need. Yeah sure it be great to have a better pay, but I don’t mind, if it happens to me I will accept it with open arms, but if it doesn’t I just shrug it off and continue living.  I’m okay on how I am living now, yeah its tight at some times, but we get through it, one step at a time. I love where I work, I don’t know why I would change right now, maybe in a few years, but even there I don’t know what I want for a job now so why would I be asking for something new when I don’t know what I want.

That’s why I like the BFSL. It’s all things I KNOW I want. That I KNOW I can have with a bit of work and patience.

BFSL is exactly what it says. They are BIG fill of FUN things, and Scary because you add things you would never admit to anyone.

I want a fucking Cinderella wedding! IN a church! Because I want people to stand up and turn to look at me and cry because I’ll be FUCKING BEAUTIFUL! Maybe not in a church, outside, but with the cheesy movie lines and everything, I want a white dress with design and a trail in the back with white rose’s bouquet. I want voile and a tiara and everything! Add the white gloves that goes above my elbow and I be ecstasy! (Intense happiness)

I want a party and dance, with classic rock music. And like cutting the cake and eat the first piece with my boyfriend super cheesy like. I want THAT.

And the worst is that I CAN! Thanks to Florida Disney world Wedding package. :D

I never admit it to anyone ( except for now :D), it was always boild up inside of me, and it was scary as FUCK to search pictures and admit it to myself when I print what I want and post it on my vision board. And I’m not even engage yet. But My boyfriend was like, next to me on the sofa when I was searching for the info/detail on the Disney world package on my laptop. So I think he has an Idea, so it doesn’t really faze him anymore.